Multi-ethnic Jesus

Can I talk a moment to be transparent? Thanks y’all.

I’m, frankly, tired. Due to where I live, my identity as a person of color must be muted, rather than exemplified, when it comes to practicing my faith. It frustrates and saddens me that to wear my “Black Lives Matter” shirt into my church would be “asking for trouble.”

Now we all know that there are times and places where we, regularly, have to mute certain things. For example: Bringing up politics at work isn’t typically recommended. And certain industries require a level of temperance from those who might be a bit more rambunctious by nature. So I’m not being naïve and saying that my “full self” should be on display everywhere I go. But what I am saying is that when I walk into my church, I put every part of me through a sifter—ensuring that none of the pieces that make me “different” are too large or loud. And I am exhausted.

The problem is: What’s the alternative?

You see, I live in northwestern Vermont. And while I live in the most diverse county in the state, the state-wide population is still at least 90% white. It always has been, but lately it’s looking more and more like it won’t always be, as each year the amount of diversity flooding one of the healthiest, whitest, and safest states in the Union is increasing exponentially. Known to many as “where Bernie Sanders is from,” there’s not really a lot going on here, besides, well, an influx of brown people. And on paper, that’s working out great! Vermont law-makers are known to be “progressive” and “inclusive.” I mean, the state that took on Monsanto must be forward-thinking, right? Of course. Vermont is, technically, forward thinking in a lot of ways. But unfortunately, our forward-“thoughts” are often more forward-“ideas” that aren’t rooted in experience or practice. They aren’t the result of community interaction, but rather external observations. So, while we say “all are welcome,” what is lived is “come and be like us.” And because it is assumed that this inclusive mentality is just as strong in reality as it is on paper, the idea of “training” on the topic is seen as an insult. It’s astonishing just how often I’ve heard that “Hate doesn’t grow in the rocky soil of Vermont.” That “racism doesn’t exist here.” Or, best of all, “All lives matter here.”

Now please don’t misunderstand me, if all of these things were actually true, I would be singing an entirely different tune. But the greatest danger here is that the words are out in full force, but the actions and reality don’t match. A part of the reason we’re in this predicament is because, from the perspective of thousands of well-meaning white people, the statements above are completely true based on their experiences. The issue, however, is that the experiences of every single person of color over the age of 10 stands in direct conflict with those perspectives.

Yes, I said the age of 10. That was not a typo. The struggle is real.

Church, for me, has always been something I’ve desired to be a safe space. In fact, over the course of history, places of worship have usually gone into the “safe space” territory. And growing up, my faith was always a central part of my culture. But, as a millennial woman of color, the contemporary, white church that I grew up loving (not the exact same church, but a similar one) has become more of a “space,” where I’m allowed and welcomed, but my “blackness” is tolerated, not embraced. Rather than being a place of refuge where I can find freedom, it is, most days, a place where I can worship as long as I crucify my “flesh.” Again, please don’t misunderstand—I have a deep appreciation for the call to holiness and sacrificing my desires for will of God. But at what point do we acknowledge that all things culture-based are not displeasing to God? At what point do we recognize that somewhere along the way we’ve lumped in ethnicity that is “different from our own” in with the poor & lowly? As something to be “improved upon?” As something that “we just don’t do here?” If the Spirit of God dwells here, then how can there be limits on what “we do?” Shouldn’t there only be the tearing down of boxes that we put His manifestation in, not reinforcement of their borders?

There is nothing more diverse and inclusive than the Holy-Spirit. He is all things to all people. And as you travel the world and begin to see His Presence through a wider lens, the manifestation of His Spirit is more of a technicolor dream coat than a robe of pure white. After all, isn’t the grafting in of other nations a big part of the reason Jesus (Yeshua) came? So that those who weren’t the biological descendants of Abram could become a part of the lineage of Abraham? And in what’s now know as the Great Commission, Jesus said to “make disciples of all nations,” which is to help the people learn of [him], believe in [Him], and obey [His] words. He didn’t say to help the people learn English, sing songs with these chord progressions, and only talk about these topics & rejoice in this way so that the people who have been here a long time can remain comfortable. When Jesus instructed the disciples to drop their nets and “Follow Me,” I don’t recall him asking them to also, “stop speaking your native tongue.” In fact, on the day of Pentecost, which is arguably one of the most glorious outpourings of Holy Spirit in the Anno Domini church, the members of the body all began to speak in other languages! I think here it’s important to note that what it didn’t do was allow all people to speak one language. What that tells me about the Holy Spirit is that it takes the path of flourishing diversity to achieve unity, not the path of assimilation.

So when I enter a church that I call my home, whose congregation is becoming increasingly sprinkled with people of color, and the inclusion of my (our) culture is an afterthought rather than a priority—an uphill battle rather than an exciting step of development, I am tired. When the leadership sees diversity training as optional or not a priority because “we’re all the same in Christ,” I am concerned because while Christ might make us pure in the eyes of God, He doesn’t make us all white. I am tired because church is all fine and well, as long as I come with my quiet, reserved, minimized face on so that no one is intimidated or uncomfortable or offended.

But sometimes, I just want to come as me--all of me.

How and When Lives Matter

If you have not yet come around to #blacklivesmatter on the principle that #alllivesmatter, I do not judge you or think less of you. And I certainly don’t think you’re a “bad” or “stupid” person. But, similar to those who oppose feminism out of concern for true equality, I think there’s simply a misconception (likely no fault of your own) on what this movement is truly about. Facts remain that (in general) in the United States of America (and its media) African Americans are treated radically different for a variety of “reasons.” The problem, I’d like to suggest, isn’t that justice was not brought for the deaths of the Tamir Rices & Freddie Greys. It’s that a system that claims to be colorblind is very clearly not. It’s when a young brown boy (Tamir Rice) & a young white man (Dylan Roof) have the police meet them with different responses–choosing a more strategic & gentle route with the one of the two who had already accrued a body count upon their arrival.

If the problem were the lack of justice actually obtained with our justice system, this fight would read something like #justicematters. But that fact is not the one for which resolution is currently being sought. The problem that the #blacklivesmatter movement is attempting to address is that African Americans, or “Blacks” are treated with far more hostility & less rationality than “Whites.” The issue here is not simply the mistreatment of one group of people, but the lack of EQUAL treatment for everyone.

You see, it’s not the shooters that are the primary problem here, it’s the system that processes them and tells them that there are different standards of appropriate, wise, and safe self governance depending on the amount of melanin in your skin. The thing here, is that this is not a black vs. white issue–although many would have you believe it is. It is an established and imbalanced system vs. social equality. If this were simply a government issue, it wouldn’t be that big of an issue; the root is far more embedded and subconscious than most realize because it’s the ingrained belief and social norm that African Americans are more aggressive, less rational, more manipulative, and less contributing than other members of society BECAUSE they are African American. This more, in turn, allows society to find it acceptable that they are treated more sternly–as one would misbehaving children, than others. Unfortunately, this is the same mentality that determines a “successful & respectable” black adult to be an exception rather than the standard. Which, in celebrating the “rare occurrence” of an admirable black person, and simply reporting their failures, reaffirms this idea. When that which is considered standard for the white youth is considered impressive for the black youth, their view of themselves (along with the community’s view of them) is further shaped in the current unbalanced mold of our culture. It subconsciously justifies the different treatment. And it’s a cycle that self-propels, accommodates, and rationalizes.

The most dangerous thing I’ve found this far is, however, that I haven’t a single realistic clue on how to stop it.

-Selah-

This is Where I Am

I could say it’s been an emotional day, but in all honesty, as an American Human it’s been a long year. I feel like at least a decade’s worth of heavy heart has taken its toll in 2015. To be frank, I haven’t lived a day of my adult life outside the shadow of domestic or international terrorism.

You see, terrorism doesn’t begin or end with an event causing mass casualties. Terrorism has a purpose. And, not to be insensitive, but a freak accident can cause tragedy. Terrorism is the strategic annihilation of hope in place of blindly disheartened fear. Terrorism isn’t a car blowing up on the side of a road. Terrorism is a man driving into the middle of a crowded street in order to publicly blow up his car near others for the purpose of inciting widespread fear of an unpredictable predator.

The thing that makes terrorism, terrorism isn’t that a bad thing happens–bad things happen every day. It’s when bad things are made to happen in order to stop or hinder people from living a full life either by destroying their physical ability to do so or instilling enough fear or hatred to prohibit them from attempting to gain it themselves.

Living in a state of terror is reflected by a lack of trust that governing bodies, law enforcement, community, or other authorities are able or willing to protect you or your best interests from a known and active threat.

Please be sure, I am deeply grieving for France, Beirut, Kenya, Baghdad, and many others that have suffered mass attacks over the last weeks. But the issue here isn’t that terrorism is a new global problem. The American issue here is that we focus on global pain while ignoring the domestic, internal terrorism that is flooding our borders under the guise of freedom. The fact of the matter is that every single one of our systems are broken, causing the majority of Americans to live in systematically oppressed states of terror all over the nation.

Our political machine. Our education institution. Our economic process. Our healthcare programs. Our justice system.

Each broken in a way that pierces a hole in the lungs of hope for millions of Americans each day. Leaving them deflated with little to no hope in themselves or for their future. Causing them to face a reality that says, “You’ll never be anything other than what we make you, have anything we don’t give you, or do anything we don’t allow you to. Oh, and the rules change daily without notice.”

This isn’t fiction, it’s reality for the socially and economically disenfranchised (read non-white or female or poor) in America.

So if there’s any wonder who’s the biggest terrorist threat to America? You can be sure, it’s herself.