Ujima

To build and maintain our community together and make our brother's and sister's problems our problems and to solve them together.

I feel like the totality of my life work over the last 4 years has been in the name of ujima. Actually, I think that ujima captures the spirit of the struggle for Black liberation perfectly. All in one word. What is solidarity, if not to share one another’s problems? If not the recognition that none of us are free until all of us are free? And the Black component here actually feels critical, so I’m not suggesting to transplant Kwanzaa as a “movement” thing any more than I would expect Chanukah to be transplanted onto gentiles who have not even accepted the offering of “adoption” into the family of Abraham as heirs & joint-heirs.

Because, as with all things Black—it’s the only thing that actually invites progress for everyone else. A rising tide doesn’t actually lift all boats in a way that is meaningful—no matter how blue it glows. Thinking about it in this moment, it just dawned on me that lifting some boats might even result in capsizing. Every boat can’t handle the same tide. But what is true, is that no boat of any kind can move forward & accomplish that which it was made to do without first lifting their strong, critical, sunken black anchor. Until then, it’s just wobbly land. And that’s what comes to my mind when I see movement strategies that don’t center Black liberation. It doesn’t actually matter how beautiful, expensive, or tricked out a boat is if it can never leave the shore. As is also true, in my opinion & assessment, for social “justice” work of any kind.

The struggle of the African people is not, by any means, new. Nor are African peoples the only people who have faced oppression. Neither do all African consciously know suffering (regardless of the trauma found in their bodies). It feels important to qualify that when I say Black freedom struggle, it’s not because I believe white folks, or anyone else not of African descent (pre-settler colonialism), should suffer or be oppressed in our stead. What I am saying though, is that a commitment to one another will have revolutionary ramifications—regardless of what anyone chooses (or not) to do.

As always, easier said than done. But what might happen if we all took responsibility for building and maintaining the integrity of our community? What would accountability look like? What would we no longer, “just let go?” Where might we offer more grace? What would happen if we, as the African diaspora, chose to eliminate the phrase, “not my circus; not my monkeys,” from our vocabulary when it relates to one another—whether we are “in control” or not? How much warmer & rested might we be if we chose to recognize the lights within one another & stoke their fires rather than throwing shade? What if our love for one another could be strong enough to offer all of us a path to returning to right relationship with community—no matter the offense? To set boundaries in love, but not take that as license to disregard one another in times of need? How many conflicts might be settled in conversation rather than rising to mandate public call outs? I truly wonder what would happen…what would be the side effects…if we actively chose not to profit from one another’s mistakes, offenses, or suffering.

If we choose to relate to one another with shared effort and responsibility for our care, I believe there’s no limit to the amount of ground we might be able to cover. Today is Tuesday, December 28th, 2021. It may be decades since the birth of what we now call the Pan-African movement began, but I do believe that a free Africa will enable a free world.

I can’t speak about anyone else, band I won’t attempt to today, but I’m committed to messing around and getting free. I am convinced that is something that can only happen through the cultivation of a collective consciousness. Being in meaningful relationship with one another is the only way for any of us know if any African anywhere is oppressed, exploited, enslaved, or wounded in any way in their humanity. And from my study and experience, the only way to maintain that connection, and those relationships beyond moment of externally-imposed, shared, struggle is through a an active commitment to not abandon relationships (and by extension, people). They must, of course, change in manifestation—evolving as a part of development and evolution. But our commitments to restoration of connection must last beyond seasonal cooperation.

And to put it mildly, that is one of the most difficult practices I’ve ever endeavored to build. It’s one thing to say our problems are connected in an empathetic sort of way. But to solve them together is a whole other story. In a society where the natural order is exploitation and extraction for the sake of profit and power (whatever that looks like in a given context), to make it your business to approach all of our village’s individual issues as group projects is the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard. That makes it impossible to exploit one another. Because if I exploit you, then your problem is that you’re being exploited. And now I have a responsibility to help you solve that problem and to use my power and influence to do so. Which negates my decision to exploit in the first place. See how that works?

That’s kind of the point though. We must acknowledge that those of us whose lineage flows through to mother Africa have a shared spirit flowing through each of us. To engage one another as people whose problems we must work together to solve gives us a vested interest in not creating or instigating any of those problems ourselves. And to assume shared responsibility for our culture and structures means there’s no benefit to finding or assigning blame. Encouraging us to prioritize the embodying of lessons over the finding of fault. While this approach to existing among one another doesn’t mean individuals aren’t called to endure consequences for harm they most instigate, but just the opposite. It makes accountability possible. If the point is applying the lessons we’ve learned to future behaviors, rather than going over every single “wrong move” one has made, transformed engagement is much more likely and possible. It might just be the nudge of a difference between asking the question, “how do I adjust this plan to not get caught next time?” and, “how do I prevent this situation I’m in from happening again?”

I’m not viewing any of this with rose-colored glasses. But I am speaking to the possibility of a world I’ve never seen, based on what I have. And within that kind of communitarian society, I see the ability of our Black bodies to move forward together, rather than succumbing to any steps backwards. So I’d like to submit to you that from this day forward, we cease our hash-tagging community—and be one. If we gonna be out here, we might as well be out here, out here.

Je crois qu’un peuple instruit, ne sera jamais soumis. El pueblo unido, jamás será vencido. Khetha ubuntu.

Nah, I’m Good

You can keep your, “Hero’s Journey”
your, “badge of honor,”
your, “female version of a hustler,”
your, “Black girl magic,”
your, “upgrade.”

Wait…let me slow down…
Take a breath in…let a breath out…
Take a breathe in…let a breath out…

I was so young the 1st time someone called me, “perfect,” I don’t even remember it. But I wasn’t even in high school the first time someone said to me, “we can’t all be perfect like you,” as an insulting retort. I’ve never claimed to be perfect. I’ve never wanted that label, but I’ve suffocated under the weight of it for as long as I can remember.

I don’t want to be anyone’s, “goals, or “guiding light.”
I don’t want to be loved for what I do,because then what happens when I can’t anymore?
There’s nothing wrong with being someone people admire, but only if that admiration doesn’t cost me the ability to breathe.

Growing up the 96th percentile wasn’t enough if “my best” was the 98th. Being called “brilliant” at 8 years old is not a compliment.
What I wouldn’t give to just “be.” Yes, I’m a leader. I DO want to be heard, seen, & felt. But not at the expense of my ability to ever acceptably be “average.” To need to rest…to need food…to need space…to need time…to need community…to need to cry & scream & pout & be completely irrational. To be mean & angry & frustrated & irritable.

I don’t want to be the “strongest person” anyone knows. I don’t want to be punished anymore. And that’s exactly what it feels like—my punishment for being “excellent” is that a 90% is an insufficient & an 8 out of 10 is a failure. “Anything less than your best, “they said, “isn’t good enough.” “Be twice as good to be given half the respect,” they chant in every leadership circle. How does nobody see the problem with saying that to a 12 year old?! At this point, I have enough complexes to be a freshly gentrified city center. In every room, community, & space being either too much or never enough.

Inhale…in
Exhale…and out
Inhale…in
Exhale…and out

I wonder if I make sure everyone is happy, will my “extra” suddenly become acceptable? If all their needs are met, will they be willing to help me get what I need? If I can just make sure they’re all comfortable, will I still be a burden? Or will I finally be someone worth making room for? Then when they count the cost, will they keep me around, even if it’s at a loss?

Rest isn’t just of the body?
Safety isn’t just a feeling?
Being born doesn’t give you a family?
Survival doesn’t mean we are living?

What makes a breath worth breathing?
What makes a view worth seeing?
Must it be the strongest & brightest?
Or can its value lie just in its being?

“Contribute,” they say.
“Stand up,” they say.
“Don’t quit,” they say.
“March on,” they say.

But if I can’t, how long will they carry me before I just become dead weight?
If their expectations create my reason for being, how much of that does my resting negate?
So I’m supposed to discern fiction from fact? Why does the bridge have to be called my back?
When searching for answers free of all lies…questions of truth are all that I find.

Charleston, SC

I’ve been struggling all day to find any words to adequately express how I’m feeling.

Grieved doesn’t seem heavy enough, but I can’t think of a word that describes this torment my heart is enduring any better.

I am not in so much pain today because these victims were black, nor because they were Christians.

I am in mourning today because there were ten human beings whose humanity was ripped away from them at the hand of the senseless hate that was allowed to quietly take hold of a young man in a society that gave him the gift of freedom of belief without the responsibility of morality.

Because of an age that taught him to do and be what he wanted fearlessly with no concern for the consequences. Because of the generation that gave him the courage to take a stand without the requirement of socially accountable intentions.

We’ve done a flawless job of teaching the ideology of independent freedoms & self-sufficiency, but failed at teaching to love one another in unity. A soul so passionately consumed with hate is already dead. There are ten souls today I grieve for, because my Savior taught me that all lives do matter–regardless of my judgement of their worthiness.

We’re in this together, and the cycle of hate-inspired hate must end today.

What’s Really Lacking?

There’s this idea in modern-day “black” churches that what’s killing ministries is “familiarity” of leaders with those they are leading.

Another idea?

What’s killing modern-day “black” churches is the ideology of “elitism” that breeds the thought that they should not be “casual” with those they are leading combined with the “unmasking” of a true self when “familiarity,” occurs.

Who you are at church should be no different than who you are at home. That is, if your church is a true community of believers gathering for the encouragement of one another in following the will of God.

No, every single person cannot handle the responsibility of knowing your weaknesses or private business. Nor can every person know every detail of your personality & who you are. But that’s not just because of your anointing. It’s because you’re a real person dealing with real people & that doesn’t change simply because you put on a collar. There are just more people knocking at your door then there were before.

BUT, if you are who you promote yourself to be then there should be no “shell-shock” or “kickback” when they get to know “the real you.” When in ministry, getting to know you at a personal level should delve deeper into the knowledge of the same person, not reveal an entirely different identity.

What’s destroying our “black” churches is the same thing that’s destroying our “black” families & communities.

A lack of knowledge & a wealth of pride. A lack of understanding & a wealth of judgement. A lack of honesty & a wealth of costumes. A lack of faith & a wealth of jadedness. A lack of work ethic & a wealth of excuses. A lack of love & a wealth of lust.

If we would simply take the time to stop excluding ourselves from the rest of the “church,” recognizing that “the world rejecting us” is not the same thing as not putting forth the effort to obtain the tools necessary for success, we would be much better off as a people.

If we loved one another & worked together more than we sought out someone to blame for our “times of affliction,” & mistakes, we could grow into this thing commonly referred to by others as an actual community.

If we only took the time to practice what HE preached, we could become a true “we,” in which the ever dominating “them,” is welcomed & transformed into an “us.”

Don’t we all want to live in a place where people are patient & kind to one another? Not overtaken by envy, voices always boasting, out of pride. Where the majority of people aren’t selfish & constantly angry to the point of ruining the integrity & relationships of others?

Wouldn’t we all prefer a place where our mistakes aren’t held against us all the time, & people are happy when you tell (and prefer to tell you) the truth, even if it’s hard to hear? An environment where people protect each other, trust each other, & get through things together?

Now of course none of this is easy to achieve, but it is actually quite simple.

You see, faith, hope, & love prevail. But the greatest of these, is love.

Let’s have more love y’all.