Aim Wise

They should have killed me when they had the chance!!

If you’re gonna shoot your shot—shoot straight. There is something to be said for when focus meets commitment. It’s a rarity to not be distracted by this disaster, that atrocity, or the video footage of both happening at once. Because it’s so tempting. Especially when it seems that the “low hanging fruit” has solutions that won’t mandate we wait 6 months before we can bake a cake. Hell—we’re hungry now!! Or even better, why not just pick the apples off the ground, right? It’s already fallen and that requires zero reaching upwards. We could bake a cake within the hour!! But can we pause for a minute and ask ourselves, “How would that taste?”

So is it with the initiatives and projects many of us begin with on a quarterly basis. Oftentimes we get so caught up with achieving results today that we neglect to count the cost of a work done too quickly. Not considering the sickness that comes with making pies from dirty apples. But can I lose the analogy for a bit? Why is it really that we are so easily distracted? Why is it that just a little bit of glitter can have us giving up on gold? (I guess I’m worse at putting aside metaphors than I thought.) Is it—perhaps, that part of us wonders if it’s really worth all the work? All the late nights, the fasting & praying, the tears, the self-discipline, the brutal work, the patience. What if none of them are actually going to be worth it? I wonder if the reason we are so quick to give up or get distracted isn’t because there is a part of us secretly thinking, “It’ll all fail anyway, but at least I can walk away with *something* accomplished.”

But what if the only thing keeping it from working is the fact that so many of us keep giving into that thought? What if the problem isn’t that no one listens to the radicals, but that the “radicals” aren’t radical enough to actually BELIEVE it can work? What if we are simply finding more security in our problems than in our progress? Because these problems sent by our enemies are things we know how to keep from killing us. Meanwhile, life without them is a wild card—something we’ve never experienced before. What if our oppressors were right all along? What if we can’t handle our freedom?

Are these thoughts winning in the battle for our minds so much so that we have nothing left with which to fight for our souls?

Hmmm….can I make a recommendation?

Let’s just shoot our shots. Let’s look forward, arms swinging, legs pumping, eyes focused. Let’s not slow down. Let’s not look back. Let’s be so engrossed in our work that we remove all room to discuss “if it fails.” Let’s be so committed to its success that it only fails over all (not one) of our dead bodies. So that as long as there is breath in any of our lungs, we’re all still breathing. Let’s be so connected to one another that they can push on 50 million of us at once and not one of us fall.

It’s a lot, I know. It’s terrifying. But I, for one, can no longer accept that there is anything we cannot change. You see, they’ve tried to kill me already. They did everything they could to take me out. And their shots made contact—internally and externally. But somehow they missed their target and didn’t quite get to my heart. They could only hit me at an angle and now I’m still breathing. What a mistake they made. Because in their attempt to take my life the only thing they actually managed to remove was my fear.

So dare to be radical with me—for real. They’ve already taken away the authenticity that made everything else valuable. So at this point, we really do have nothing to lose but our chains.

#ForwardTOGETHER, Not ONE step back.

Katrina Marie

A Dream Revived

Dream Again

Can you go back to your childhood, and dare to dream again?

When your daddy asked what you wanna be, do you remember what you said?

Did you wanna go to the moon, and live within the stars?

Did you wanna dance in front of millions, and captivate their hearts?

If you could pick anything, what would you be?

Can you find your imagination, and set the captive free?

Dare to dream--again.

Dare to leap--again.

Dare to reach--again.

Dare to be, again.

Do you recall when you were 10, and your momma lost her job.

When you found out nothing was for sure.

And sometimes good people fall.

It pulled you out of your daydream

And into reality.

That was the first time you put limits on what could be.

That day you got home late from work, and grabbed the mail on your way in.

And you found that letter from the school you applied early decision.

Your first choice & your papa's almamater--you were sure of your reply.

But when you opened up that letter, it said you were denied.

It felt like your life ended that moment.

All your plans could never be.

But don't you know there are so many paths from here to your destiny?

Remember when your boss called you into her office

And said they had to let you go.

Or when you got down on one knee

And your girlfriend told you, "no?"

Just because it doesn't go your way, doesn't mean it isn't right.

Darkness doesn't last always--and neither does the night.

When the Day Comes…

I mean, at the end of the day–for me at least, it’s the most sacred moment of my life. There is no vow I will ever make that is more important, no matter where life takes me (us).

For those that want to help celebrate, I say just have a huge cookout afterwards. But for the ceremony itself, who needs all that fanfare?

The only people I want in the room are those who are touching and agreeing for the fruitfulness of our union–the people who have been and will be continually praying for us. Let everybody come to the celebration, but keep only the covenant relationships at the consecration.

And it’s not about omitting people or slighting anyone, but about making that vow with its intended weight. Because on that day, it’s not about a promise we’re making to ourselves or our families–that’s called engagement.

In that moment, it’s about a promise we’re making to God–and those should never be taken lightly.

Charleston, SC

I’ve been struggling all day to find any words to adequately express how I’m feeling.

Grieved doesn’t seem heavy enough, but I can’t think of a word that describes this torment my heart is enduring any better.

I am not in so much pain today because these victims were black, nor because they were Christians.

I am in mourning today because there were ten human beings whose humanity was ripped away from them at the hand of the senseless hate that was allowed to quietly take hold of a young man in a society that gave him the gift of freedom of belief without the responsibility of morality.

Because of an age that taught him to do and be what he wanted fearlessly with no concern for the consequences. Because of the generation that gave him the courage to take a stand without the requirement of socially accountable intentions.

We’ve done a flawless job of teaching the ideology of independent freedoms & self-sufficiency, but failed at teaching to love one another in unity. A soul so passionately consumed with hate is already dead. There are ten souls today I grieve for, because my Savior taught me that all lives do matter–regardless of my judgement of their worthiness.

We’re in this together, and the cycle of hate-inspired hate must end today.

What’s Really Lacking?

There’s this idea in modern-day “black” churches that what’s killing ministries is “familiarity” of leaders with those they are leading.

Another idea?

What’s killing modern-day “black” churches is the ideology of “elitism” that breeds the thought that they should not be “casual” with those they are leading combined with the “unmasking” of a true self when “familiarity,” occurs.

Who you are at church should be no different than who you are at home. That is, if your church is a true community of believers gathering for the encouragement of one another in following the will of God.

No, every single person cannot handle the responsibility of knowing your weaknesses or private business. Nor can every person know every detail of your personality & who you are. But that’s not just because of your anointing. It’s because you’re a real person dealing with real people & that doesn’t change simply because you put on a collar. There are just more people knocking at your door then there were before.

BUT, if you are who you promote yourself to be then there should be no “shell-shock” or “kickback” when they get to know “the real you.” When in ministry, getting to know you at a personal level should delve deeper into the knowledge of the same person, not reveal an entirely different identity.

What’s destroying our “black” churches is the same thing that’s destroying our “black” families & communities.

A lack of knowledge & a wealth of pride. A lack of understanding & a wealth of judgement. A lack of honesty & a wealth of costumes. A lack of faith & a wealth of jadedness. A lack of work ethic & a wealth of excuses. A lack of love & a wealth of lust.

If we would simply take the time to stop excluding ourselves from the rest of the “church,” recognizing that “the world rejecting us” is not the same thing as not putting forth the effort to obtain the tools necessary for success, we would be much better off as a people.

If we loved one another & worked together more than we sought out someone to blame for our “times of affliction,” & mistakes, we could grow into this thing commonly referred to by others as an actual community.

If we only took the time to practice what HE preached, we could become a true “we,” in which the ever dominating “them,” is welcomed & transformed into an “us.”

Don’t we all want to live in a place where people are patient & kind to one another? Not overtaken by envy, voices always boasting, out of pride. Where the majority of people aren’t selfish & constantly angry to the point of ruining the integrity & relationships of others?

Wouldn’t we all prefer a place where our mistakes aren’t held against us all the time, & people are happy when you tell (and prefer to tell you) the truth, even if it’s hard to hear? An environment where people protect each other, trust each other, & get through things together?

Now of course none of this is easy to achieve, but it is actually quite simple.

You see, faith, hope, & love prevail. But the greatest of these, is love.

Let’s have more love y’all.

Darkness or Night

God is in the day as much as He is in the night. Yet He is light, but allows the devil to be the prince of darkness.

What does that tell us about Him?

That even in the places where it appears satan has all power, God is still in control.

He allows darkness to come, but He still remains Sovereign over the Universe.

See, in the darkest of night, it only takes a single lamp to light up a room. But during the day, it requires a great deal of work to create darkness.

Create–because you will not “find” it anywhere.

Though, at midnight, you can stumble upon the moon reflected in a lake & see brightness, at noon, even the darkest caves must be closed off and traveled through to find true darkness.

Look at what we learn about the wonderful greatness of God just by looking at the human body.

When it’s dark, your eyes yearn for light–that’s why they’re so sensitive to the tiniest shimmer. But when it’s light, have you ever found yourself naturally seeking out a shadow?

The same is true of the human spirit. It yearns for light! But just as harsh as it is to turn the lights up to bright after a long movie, so does it cause a knee-jerk reaction in the spirit. It takes a moment that sometimes causes you to wish someone would just turn the lights back off. But after a bit of adjustment to the light, you realize that it no longer hurts when you try to see–and you can see much clearer.

Which brings up another interesting point.

Being in darkness discourages you from trying to see. When it’s dark, you can’t keep your eyes open for as long because it hurts after a bit. In fact, trying to read without proper light is actually harmful to your eyes’ long term health. And artificial light such as computer screens can bring about headaches and even nausea.

But sunlight, on the other hand, is a total different ballgame. Sunlight not only encourages opening your eyes, but provides the perfect light to see with & has the capability of alleviating depression and providing energy to all living (and, through science, all nonliving) things!

How could it ever be believed that light a) doesn’t cast out darkness & b) isn’t preferable to darkness?

And while it may be cooler in the dark, it’s always going to be safer in the light

Journey to Love: Then & Now

Breathing quietly as I reminisce on what once was.

Nights spent laughing and playing, watching movies on couches & beds together.

I remember the time of being carefully wooed with caring gestures, words, lyrics, sentiments and public displays of affection.

I think on the days of late night phone calls just to hear the voice on the other end of the line before going to bed.

I recall the walks all over town just to have an excuse to be in each other’s presence.

But then my heart rate increases as I am hit with the reason it all ended.

Lies, manipulation, control, & hidden motives.

Never really knew who you were….though I thought I did.

Though the product matched the picture on the menu, the description was completely falsified.

Tricked, or should I say tripped, into falling in love.

Prayed for me & I even allowed you to lay what I thought were healing hands on me…all the while not understanding how I was getting sicker.

Actually believed that God was punishing me for hurting you in some way.

All I ever wanted was the good days back, never realizing that they were only a mirage—not knowing that the snake’s venom first entered my blood stream from the IV drip you put in my arm.

Thank God for someone finally checking the fluid tap. I’d surely be dead by now otherwise.

For every Elijah who spoke your death I thank God, because as long as you lived in my life—I was dying.

I begin to relax as I come to the realization that it’s over.

In the darkest of the night, my knight arrived..

Though I barely had a pulse left when He found me, I was still alive. Barely hangin on—-but still breathing.

He lifted me in His arms, my body frail & limp—and carried me into His home.

He laid me in His bed & did not try to take advantage of me in my weakened state, but instead nursed me back to health.

He sat at my bedside telling me jokes & stories—trying to keep my mind on that which is good.

He brought me food which He made with His own hands to be sure it was pure & not tampered with.

When I was strong enough, He went for walks with me to help me build my strength up…walking close so He would be able to catch me in case my legs gave out, but letting my own muscles do as much as they could handle.

As I got stronger I began to cook for myself, making a special plate for Him—not because He asked, but because I wanted to.

My walks became runs that I could go on alone, but I’d ask Him along just because I loved His company.

I had stories of my own to tell, but I always requested to hear His jokes because, well, truth be told, laughter is the one medication that you can’t overdose on.

Though He never asked me for it or tried to take it—He had my heart. And it wasn’t just because He helped me when I was down. During the time of my recuperation we were together so much that we gained an intimate knowledge of each other. I learned the little things…the things that didn’t make it into His widely-spread reputation.

And that’s when I fell in love.

Yeah, the good guy is great, and a cool person to be friends with. But it wasn’t until I got to know Him—the real Him….on an intimate level, that I fell in love. I could lie and say I fell for Him because He rescued me from you, but that’s not even true. He was being a good Samaritan and I’m grateful for that.

But I love Him because of the way He uses His hands to help explain things when someone says they don’t understand. I love Him because of the way He presents different views on things that I never would have thought of. I love Him because of the way He just turns His head & laughs when I’m flustered. I love Him because of the way He takes a deep breath when He’s about to say something important.

I don’t love Him for what He did for me—I love Him for who He is.

And that’s the difference between now & then.

See I loved you because you made me feel special—doing so much for me, or rather, for my affection. I fell for you because your words & actions pulled me. But not for Him….for Him I jumped. No one forced it to happen. I just woke up one morning & realized I made the choice in my sleep.

So now my heart, having gone on this roller coaster ride my head just brought it through in a matter of moments is beaming a light so bright that people are telling me I’m glowing—asking for my moisturizer & skin care secrets. So I laugh & simply tell them I’m in love.

Most times they understand…nodding knowingly as they continue on their way. But other times they raise an eyebrow and say, “Wow, I wish I had a love that made me look like that…but if I looked like that, I’d probably have one!”

That’s when I look at them, smile, and say…..but you can, why don’t you let me introduce you?

Walking with Christ

I don’t have faith that the world is going to be all sunshine & roses.

I don’t believe I’m going to have everything I want.

I don’t believe I’ll always be happy.

I don’t believe I’ll ever have all the answers.

I don’t believe everyone gets a "happy ending.“

I don’t believe I’m ever going to not be faced with struggle in this life.

————–

I believe that all things come to an end, but not every well runs dry.

I believe that whatever happens is going to be for the conditioning & strengthening of my spirit.

I believe that I’ll always be able to find joy.

I believe that every struggle I’m faced with will only be temporary.

I believe that God is going to get glory from everything He allows & doesn’t allow in my life.

I have faith that God has not forgotten me & will have His will be done in my life–whatever that may be.

—————-

"I will bless Jehovah at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.”–Psalm 34:1 (King David)

“Going a little farther, He fell with His face to the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as You will.”–Matthew 26:39 (Jesus Christ)

“…..And if I perish, I perish.”–Esther 4:16 (Queen Esther)

Storms of Life

As I look through my FB news feed, I find myself wondering if I’m the only one feeling joyful & encouraged by this storm.

Why are those who claim to know & love God growing worried by the forecast & predictions of those whose insight is so limited they can only tell us of a brewing storm when it is directly upon us? For aren’t the sight & the hand of God far greater than that of a weatherman?

Many times in my walk with Christ I have listened to people tell me that my things, even my very being, would be completely & utterly destroyed. Many times has a storm come over me so deeply that I nearly forgot what the sun felt like. But each & every time God kept me safe. The very name of the Lord is a strong tower that the righteous can always run into for safety. Why do we somehow feel that if God can protect us from things we can’t see, heal us from terminal sicknesses, & keep us safe when the enemy directly comes to attack us, that he’s going to let the rain & the water, which CAN ONLY come from Him, destroy us to a place from which we cannot, with Him, recover. “A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.” ~Psalm 34:19-20. Have we forgotten this?

The part that causes my spirit to rejoice is the fact that due to my spiritual walk with God, I have been in this place before. Because of this I understand what generally happens when God allows a storm to come over, though not overcome, His anointed. I have been in the eye of a storm wondering to myself, “Why God, why did you allow this storm to come? It’s so heavy! It’s causing so much destruction! It’s causing so much loss & pain!” I’ve said to God with confusion in my voice, “I don’t understand! You said all things work together for the good of those that love you, but I don’t see how all of these plagues & problems could be good.” And during that time, typically what happens is that God reminds me that I know nothing of what is & is not good for me. At that point I have what many would call “A Job moment,” where I, in my finite knowledge cannot comprehend why what’s going on around me is going on. (In this day & age many find themselves at that place by merely turning on the television or reading the newspaper.) See God brings back to my remembrance the simple fact that I was nowhere to be found when He was separating the sky from the water from the Earth, which causes me to realize that my vantage point is rather limited. Just as a 3 year old child does not understand why they must eat the carrots & green things on their plate before they have a piece of the German Chocolate cake their mother made for dinner, neither do we often understand why things are not looking the way we want them to look or occur in the order that we want them to. But just as a parent has a much more vast knowledge of how the body works than their young child does, so does God have much more insight into my situation than I ever could. See a mother knows that if her child eats the cake 1st, their bodies will want to just keep eating because it’s sweet & won’t get any of the nutrients it needs to keep functioning normally the next day, but would instead end up with a stomach ache. In the same fashion God knows that there are some things we need worked in us so we can function properly the next day…and these things rarely taste as sweet as German chocolate cake. But the Bible does declare that He is the Alpha *and* the Omega, meaning He not only knows about, but *IS* the beginning and the end, and because we know God does all things decently and in order, it goes without saying that if He is the beginning & the end, He is most certainly the middle as well. I’ll give a couple of you reading that a minute just to take in what I just said. If God IS the beginning *and* the end, then He is also the middle. Just because you are visually surrounded by light when at the entrance & exit of a tunnel, does not mean that God is any less with you while you’re going through it! Just because we cannot, as we look out our windows in this moment, see that light shining down on us does not mean God has left our homes! Often times, we, as believers, find ourselves having issues making it through the storms because we forget about what happened after the Lord flooded the Earth. We forget what happened when, after the 40 days & 40 nights, dry land was found again. We forget the rainbow. We forget all of God’s promises because we get caught up in the sound of the wind banging against our windows & the sight of the rain beating down mercilessly as the darkness engulfs the land. We focus our eyes on the water level we see rising. We keep looking at the darkness which surrounds us, and, taking up the way of the world & the unholy, we allow that darkness to fill our minds & take control of all of our thoughts as opposed to proceeding Biblically & lifting our eyes towards the hills from whence cometh our help and recognizing that, though we may not always see our help, we do know where it comes from, and that it is, in fact, coming. Even though I can’t always see the sun, oh, the one thing I do know for sure is that it will in fact rise in the east again tomorrow. Though my tears may flow like rain from my soul for a night, joy will certainly come in the morning!

But you know, the one thing that trips me up about believers is that they are very quick to sing about how, “trouble won’t last always.” They get so caught up in getting out of their storm that they don’t realize that there is purpose IN the storm itself! Sometimes we get so quick to get out of a storm that we don’t take the time to remember that God is the very one who controls the winds & the clouds. No raindrop can fall without His consent. And if we read our Bibles we know that God does nothing for no reason. Nothing is wasted, nothing is lost. During this time of seemingly endless rain, I am reminded that it was a fountain which was opened to the house of David & the people of Jerusalem for the purpose of cleansing them from sin & impurity. I am reminded of the wickedness that inhabited the Earth during the days that Noah lived. And I do realize that when God does a thing, there is always a purpose.

Remember I said I was encouraged? Well I’m about to let you in on why….see as I look around at trees being uprooted & phone poles being knocked out, and in some cases, whole homes being destroyed, I do recall that in the times of Israel’s disobedience, even they, the most beloved of God, had their city destroyed–by God Himself. At that time the Lord Almighty declared that the tops of the pillars would be struck so the thresholds shook. It was He who called for the waters of the sea & poured them out over the face of the land. But if we finish reading the very end of the book of Amos, we get to that promise….that promise that God said He would, “restore David’s fallen shelter,” & “repair its broken walls & restore its ruins,” and even that He would, “rebuild it as it used to be, so that they may posses the remnant of Edom & all the nations that bore [His] name.” And how many people know that when God rebuilds a thing, it is -always- greater than the former. My God, even when Job had everything taken away from Him, when God restored his life, Job ended up with far more than he could have obtained on his own. But in order for a new home to be built, the first one must be torn down. And so even as destruction is predicted into my future by every weatherman in the country, my household is saturated in peace & joy. Why? Because I know that God said that even though my afflictions may be many in number He would protect my bones & that none would be broken. God said that though the flood may come, He would erect a standard against it. Now whose report will you believe?

See in Isaiah 55:11 God said that His Word would NEVER return unto Him void, but would rather accomplish what He desired and achieve the purpose for which He sent it. So if God promised that all things work together for the good of those that love Him, and you truly love Him, then where exactly do you get the idea that the Lord, your God, is allowing a storm to occur in your life which does not work out for your good?? Nowhere in scripture have I found a place where God said that storms would never come in your life if you were in the will of God. On the contrary, the Bible tells us that the rain falls & the sun shines on the just & the unjust alike. In fact, it even warns us that many are the afflictions of the righteous! Peter encourages the people of God not to be surprised when they are afflicted as though it is something strange or weird. But He did say He would keep us. He did say that the people of God would reap their harvest in due season if they fainted not.

Remember I said before that this place was not one that was unfamiliar to me? That I’d experienced these storms sent by God before? Well, what always happens, each & every time, without fail, is that when the mission of the storm is accomplished, it ends. When God finished wiping out what needs to be wiped out & cleans those things which are filthy with His purifying waters, the rain stops, the darkness gives way to sunshine & you open your eyes to discover that you (and often your life) have never been cleaner. You discover that never has your vision been clearer. Once you come out of the storm you find that your world has never had as much peace & never have your blessings been so great! See if you just allow God to do what He’s doing, and stop fighting it, then the process is much quicker. And if you take the moment to recognize the situation for what it is–another storm sent by God to work something out in you, you might even begin to praise Him at the first sign of rain because you know what rain means. See many have claimed that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing & expecting a different result. By that definition, I’m pretty sure I’d qualify the devil as legally insane. Because I can look at my walk with Christ, as well as the walks of all those included in the 66 books of the Bible and see an overwhelmingly recurring pattern. First comes storms, then comes blessings. And I do know the devil has seen far more walks than I have, but I look at that which I have seen, in my minute 20 years of life, and don’t need further convincing. If I see a storm, I don’t have to think about it or try to figure it out, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I just let God do what He’s doing, then when it stops raining, I’m going to receive more blessings than I’ll have room enough to receive!! *That,* as those who have seen me doing it will understand, is why I begin to shout the moment I feel the pressure of the crushing. *That* is why I praise God when I’ve been in a storm so long I feel like I physically can’t take another rain drop. Because I rest myself purely on His promises, understanding that He’s not a man that He should lie, neither the son of man, that He should repent. He does not speak & not act! He doesn’t promise & not fulfill!!! So if I find myself in a storm I praise God because I know that not only is He going to wash away all the things I don’t need, but He’s going to cleanse that which He allows to remain, AND nothing I need will be broken in the process!! Isn’t that what many of us cry out for most of our lives?!?

So as this Irene chaos advances in its approach to my door, I’m going to handle it the same way I handle every other storm that God has ever allowed me to go through with the same mindset that the Bible tells me to handle it with. I’m going to have joy when the world instructs me to fear & have peace when the world tells me to panic. I’m going to do all I can to keep myself safe & then I’m going to hold onto the same God who keeps me from getting hit by a car or struck with disease for safety, with the knowledge that as long as I’m in His will, God is not going to allow any of my bones to be broken.

So it is in the spiritual, it is in the natural.

Come on saints of the Most High, The True & Living God….let not your faith stop & start at the doors of the church.