A Reactionary Tale

A few years back, Facebook did something to expand on the previously all-encompassing “like” button—they added something called “reactions.” This came to users in the form of additional emoji-esque options that could be selected once you hovered over the like feature—love, haha, wow, sad, & angry. While the inconsistencies of those naming conventions does cause a bit of a flinch in this administrative mind, I can’t help but find it interesting how well the full range of human emotion can be encapsulated in those 6 images (although my own personal set doesn’t quite feel complete without an eye roll or side-eye reaction).

We spend so much of our time offering reactions—even to the point of reacting to someone else’s lack of a reaction. Now this isn’t a new phenomenon in human history. It certainly existed pre-facebook. One would imagine it goes back to the pre-historic era, the time where pretty much all humans did was react—to our unexplained shifting environment, to animals, to each other.

And yet in the year 2017 AD, we still spend so relatively little time learning to manage them.

To be clear, in this context, I’m not referring to Newton’s 3rd Law of Motion. More like I step on your brand new cream-colored Yeezy’s and you start swearing at me like a sailor her first day with skurvy. Taking a look at many of our families, businesses, social circles, customer service interactions, and even our charity work will often all tell the same story. We don’t like to initiate—but we love to react.

Don’t believe me? Consider the question, “Where do you want to eat?” How many memes or comic routines include a bit involving Person A asking Person B for direction, being told “I don’t care, you choose,” then having to essentially list all 26 food choices in a 10 mile radius while having each of them denied one by one? Coming up with the ideas is boring, but shooting them down is almost a sport!

Now this, in itself, is certainly not the end of the world as we know it, albeit a bit exasperating for Person A. But if this is what we do for the simple things, what happens when the stakes are raised even a little bit? How much love is never shared because no one wants to be the first to say, “Will you be mine?”

Imagine if people reacted to the implementation of racism as they do being called racist.

Oh what a day that would be.

Don’t wait for an invitation. Step up. Step in. And get to work.

People & Pain

"I'm not going to be light-skinned anymore."

Probably the last words I expected to hear walking down the halls of a middle school in rural Milton, Vermont. And yet--they managed to be some of the first yesterday morning.

In a place where the minority population equates to about 5 non-white children per grade (there's been a lot of growth over the last 8 years), the light-skinned/dark-skinned fight is not something I anticipated finding traces of. But here they are, sticky and not exactly sweet. It would be easy for me to make this about race, but that's not what's nagging at the nape of my neck today. The simple fact is: Where there are teenagers, there will be the pain of self-disdain--accompanied by obscenely unnecessary amounts of poorly-blended makeup & Axe body spray. But what bothers me today is that so many of those teenage girls & boys become 50 year old men &women who can't seem to stop apologizing for and attempting to blot out who they are. At what point do we finally realize that we don't have to atone for being human? That having flaws, feelings, & fears is not only acceptable, but a huge part of what makes our lives and experiences unique.

In today's society, it's a challenge not to buy into the popular notion that we must be the definition of "flawless." So no scars. No tears. No weakness allowed. But where does that get us?

This just in:

Failing at an endeavor does not make you a failure.

Perfection and perfectly you are not the same thing.

Emotions serve a purpose.

No one has the qualifications or authority to appraise your life besides you.

So many times in our lives we perpetuate the false truth that falling short of perfection is a reason to be coated in shame. But no matter how many times I hear it--even from my own lips, I refuse to believe it. If for no other reason than the fact that it's just not true. I mean yes, it's a conscious choice--to not agree with the affirmations. And it's one I have to make. Because coating something in shame is like coating it in silver. It draws all the attention from the item itself to its shiny coating, but stops allowing it to move forward. It freezes it in time so it can no longer grow or develop. And then it rusts.

Now I don't know about you, but I have no desire to be a rusty, underdeveloped thing people look at as a discussion piece, but remain unable to engage.

I'm a person, and as much as I come with creativity, beauty, & joy, I also come with pain.

Charleston, SC

I’ve been struggling all day to find any words to adequately express how I’m feeling.

Grieved doesn’t seem heavy enough, but I can’t think of a word that describes this torment my heart is enduring any better.

I am not in so much pain today because these victims were black, nor because they were Christians.

I am in mourning today because there were ten human beings whose humanity was ripped away from them at the hand of the senseless hate that was allowed to quietly take hold of a young man in a society that gave him the gift of freedom of belief without the responsibility of morality.

Because of an age that taught him to do and be what he wanted fearlessly with no concern for the consequences. Because of the generation that gave him the courage to take a stand without the requirement of socially accountable intentions.

We’ve done a flawless job of teaching the ideology of independent freedoms & self-sufficiency, but failed at teaching to love one another in unity. A soul so passionately consumed with hate is already dead. There are ten souls today I grieve for, because my Savior taught me that all lives do matter–regardless of my judgement of their worthiness.

We’re in this together, and the cycle of hate-inspired hate must end today.

Darkness or Night

God is in the day as much as He is in the night. Yet He is light, but allows the devil to be the prince of darkness.

What does that tell us about Him?

That even in the places where it appears satan has all power, God is still in control.

He allows darkness to come, but He still remains Sovereign over the Universe.

See, in the darkest of night, it only takes a single lamp to light up a room. But during the day, it requires a great deal of work to create darkness.

Create–because you will not “find” it anywhere.

Though, at midnight, you can stumble upon the moon reflected in a lake & see brightness, at noon, even the darkest caves must be closed off and traveled through to find true darkness.

Look at what we learn about the wonderful greatness of God just by looking at the human body.

When it’s dark, your eyes yearn for light–that’s why they’re so sensitive to the tiniest shimmer. But when it’s light, have you ever found yourself naturally seeking out a shadow?

The same is true of the human spirit. It yearns for light! But just as harsh as it is to turn the lights up to bright after a long movie, so does it cause a knee-jerk reaction in the spirit. It takes a moment that sometimes causes you to wish someone would just turn the lights back off. But after a bit of adjustment to the light, you realize that it no longer hurts when you try to see–and you can see much clearer.

Which brings up another interesting point.

Being in darkness discourages you from trying to see. When it’s dark, you can’t keep your eyes open for as long because it hurts after a bit. In fact, trying to read without proper light is actually harmful to your eyes’ long term health. And artificial light such as computer screens can bring about headaches and even nausea.

But sunlight, on the other hand, is a total different ballgame. Sunlight not only encourages opening your eyes, but provides the perfect light to see with & has the capability of alleviating depression and providing energy to all living (and, through science, all nonliving) things!

How could it ever be believed that light a) doesn’t cast out darkness & b) isn’t preferable to darkness?

And while it may be cooler in the dark, it’s always going to be safer in the light